I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
