gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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