Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
