My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
