oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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