Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
