honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
