Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
