party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
