WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
