No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
