he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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