Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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