2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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