He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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