Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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