she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize