I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
