i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
