I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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