dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
