You made me cry and you don't even care
my mouth tastes like poor choices
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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