I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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