Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
