Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
