it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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