I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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