***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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