she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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