Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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