he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
