I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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