If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize