he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
