I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
