i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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