she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
