i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
