Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
