I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
