Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
