i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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