In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
