i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
