Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
