you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Still dying that you shit outside
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
