He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
