He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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