i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His hands were made for my vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
