After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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