Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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