Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
