new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
