i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
