Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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