Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
