I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
