with your own penis?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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