LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
