Sry I called you an 8
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
