i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
