So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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