So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
