Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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