I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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