did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
